There's No Such Thing As Couple's Counselling
by Coka Cookie Cola
Summary: A/U; In retrospect, it seemed like a good idea to get all their issues sorted out through counselling. But in reality, hell was about to unleash. Who knew that there were MORE issues being created than being solved? It seemed like it was the first time Vegeta was right and Bulma was wrong.
1. Oh, My Lanta, Please Calm Down!

**I had to redo this chapter; I spotted a mistake and I'm like – I don't want to confuse my readers later on. So, thus, the mistake is gone!**

**There's No Such Thing As Couple's Counselling**

**Chapter 1: Oh My Lanta, Please Calm Down!**

_It was supposed to be just another boring day, set with boring routines and boring conversations. It was supposed to be a boring universe; it was just common to feel bored too easily in this city._

_But here's a treat for you – there was one married couple in this city that never seemed to be bored; because let's face it, there's always something going on with them. Every day. In fact, it became pretty amusing each time you hear someone bitching about something or rather. It made you think that there should be a TV show about it._

_Anyways, let's enter the Briefs' household, where the newlywed couple – who had been married for two months now – resided._

_It's a pretty common scene, really; Bulma Briefs, with oceanic blue eyes and aquamarine hair, sitting on couch, looking fabulous as always in a black pair of yoga pants and a pink tank top to match. And there happened to be a very angry expression written on her face._

_Guess who caused that scowl on her pretty facial features._

"_Vegeta, maybe going to counseling won't be a bad thing," Bulma sighed, rubbing her temples – which could only take so much pain, thanks to Vegeta's habit of screeching like a banshee._

_Two months since they had been married. Sure, Bulma loved him to death, but sometimes, he just made her want to cut his head off in his sleep. Obviously, she would never really do that, but you should get the point._

_Their fights with each other could get pretty nasty. _

_And one day, Chi-Chi – who was Bulma's best friend in the world who also happened to be married – happened to witness one of their arguments. Now mind you, Chi-Chi had an opinion about everything and sometimes, that was a good thing. And she also happened to be really good about suggestions. You could imagine what Chi-Chi suggested to Bulma, and considering that taking other people's advice kind of wasn't really Bulma's style, she had time to reflect. Would she want to have issues with her husband for the rest of their years together? Or should they actually try to get along? Then again…After almost every fight they've had, they had amazing make-up sex. Which was totally worth it by the way._

_After all, Vegeta was the most gorgeous person that was born in this world. No question. With spiky, onyx hair that resembled a badass porcupine, bronze skin that suggested that it was au natural, muscles that could make any guy drop his head in shame and a horrible attitude to match, Vegeta was Bulma's dream man._

"_Woman, what is so appealing about revealing personal information to low-life strangers?" Vegeta growled, his dark eyes glowing with anger._

"_Therapy happens to help people all the time," Bulma replied. "And it's clear that you need therapy the most."_

"_Are you trying to make more enemies for me, woman?" Vegeta snapped._

"_Get over it, Princess! It's not like they're going to kill you in your sleep!"_

_In retrospect, arguing about the issue was not going to make things any easier for Vegeta to accept counseling._

_But what Bulma did say WAS true: he did need it the most…_

_After all, in the past year, there were several things he shouldn't have done._

_Such as stalking Bulma's ex-boyfriend's house, since he had suspected that Bulma was cheating on him._

_Secondly, he had also lashed out at a waiter at a restaurant – which Bulma happened to enjoy immensely – just because said waiter smiled in Bulma's direction._

_You could see what kinds of issues Vegeta had. Quite frankly, Bulma thought he was paranoid. Why couldn't he see that she wouldn't love anyone else?_

_But those weren't the only issues he had._

**:3 :3 :3**

_Later that night, both of them had calmed down to the point that they were too tired to fight anymore. But it wouldn't leave them that tired to not do anything else, per say (if you know what I mean)._

_It was the same general routine. Passionate kisses. Pleasurable touches. Ear-shattering groans._

_Bulma loved it all, but sometimes she wished that Vegeta could just go slower. Too bad he didn't understand the concept of that._

"_Vegeta…" Bulma cuddled up to her husband, whose arm wrapped around her curvaceous waist. Mind you, they were both finished doing the nasty, and they were wrapped up in their imagination land of love and affection. Of course, Vegeta never once said it to her…_

"_What is it this time?" Vegeta answered, sounding quite exhausted. Whether if it was because Bulma was about to bitch him out again for something, she didn't know._

"_Can't we just try it out?" Bulma inquired softly, trying to sound as patient and loving as she possibly could; but it was hard when she lived underneath the same roof as this bastard._

"_We've been over this."_

"_Fine. Then that means I won't give you that weekly lap dance and you're not going to see me naked ever again."_

_Blackmail was a bitch, but hey – at least it got the job done._

**:3 :3 :3**

**Two weeks later…**

"So… Mrs. Briefs, how long has this been going on for?" The therapist, who wanted both Bulma and Vegeta to call him Robert, asked, whose gaze mainly rested upon Bulma's form – rather than the man sitting beside her that resembled a constipated dwarf.

"Hmm… well, we've always had this kind of issue for several months," Bulma supplied, giving Robert – a married man of two years – a small smile. Needless to say, Vegeta didn't like it. Actually, there were five thousand and twenty things he never liked. Bulma was pretty much desperate to have ten things taken off that list.

And that included trusting his wife to talk to other guys.

**:3 :3 :3**

**I know, nothing too special in the beginning. Just a little introduction into the couple therapy session. Ha!**

**This IS alternate universe (I can't find myself writing canon; I just can't). Just so you know.**

**So… mind telling me what you think? :3**


	2. 60 Seconds Or Less

**I'm just saying that this is the first time I had to do research for ANYTHING remotely related to my story. In this case, I had done some research on couples counselling. It was super fun (for people like me) to learn about the basic principles. Now you'll know I won't be making any mumbo jumbo! LOL!**

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! :D**

**There's No Such Thing As Couple's Counselling**

**Chapter 2: 60 Seconds Or Less**

For the past five minutes they had been in their therapist's office, Bulma felt like she was going to implode from anger. Hell, she'd probably take it out on the poor man who had agreed for them to come in. Living with someone like Vegeta, who had more faults than most sane people (maybe she shouldn't put it that way), was probably enough for someone to break down.

Out of all the things that had to stress her out, Bulma couldn't find anything to de-stress. Not even her favourite lace dress that she had the confidence to pull off today, not even her cute floral wedges that normally would have made her feel taller and courageous. Clothes obviously couldn't cut it for someone like Bulma Briefs.

"So Mrs. Briefs, how long have you been married?" Robert Gensai asked, as he crossed his legs – clad in a pair of dark jeans – and prepared to open a notebook so he could take notes. He would have to be writing a lot of stuff down if he ever planned on fixing Bulma and Vegeta's relationship.

Bulma tucked a few strays of her blue hair behind her ear, as she straightened up in her chair. "We've been married for nearly three months," she supplied, ignoring the eye roll of her dearly beloved husband.

"And before that? How long have you been together?" Robert inquired, not sounding pushy or nosy. Merely professional, much to Bulma's delight. At least this guy was doing his job right.

"I've had the misfortune of knowing this woman for ten years, but we have not chosen to become intimate with each other until three years ago," Vegeta gruffly answered.

_**Misfortune?!**_

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bulma turned her gaze to Vegeta, giving him one of her infamous dirty looks.

"It means that you are a handful to work with, woman," Vegeta answered, his tone of voice full of anger.

"May I inquire as to how you would describe this marital status?" Robert interrupted.

"Dysfunction," Bulma answered shortly.

"Worst mistake I have ever made," Vegeta snorted.

"Loving me is the worst mistake you've made?" Bulma asked sceptically. "You hear this, Robert? He has just proved that he is incapable of human emotion."

Robert pursed his lips, as he continued to witness the argument between husband and wife rise heatedly. He had to admit though, in the five years of his career, he had never seen any couple as passionate as they were. But there were issues that undoubtedly needed to be settled. Robert himself had a feeling that they were close to filing for a divorce – that was if either of them were willing to concede to the point of defeat. And that was the point itself: stubbornness. He could see that both man and wife may have their pride that would not allow them to feel that they would be wrong. That could be one of the problems that they were trying to resolve.

"And you are incapable of decision making. I could tell you what would make your ass look big in less than ten minutes."

The comebacks that were retorted left and right were remarkable…

"ASSHOLE! I LOOK GOOD IN EVERY PIECE OF FINE CLOTHING THAT I OWN!" Bulma screeched, completely taken offense of what Vegeta had just told her.

"As much as I would love to take notes on this, I need to ask you this: have either of you dealt with special health issues?" Robert looked into the suspicious gaze of Vegeta and into the curious eyes of Bulma.

"Are you saying that I'm bipolar? No, I've never had that issue. But you may need to ask that asshole sitting beside me, thank you," Bulma crossed her arms, exposing the hint of cleavage that peeked from her ivory dress.

"Just because I have graciously told you my opinion? Even though you have always specified me to do so?" Vegeta raised an eyebrow.

Self-confidence in one's appearance may be another issue. It never took much to figure out, especially from Bulma's reaction to Vegeta's honesty.

"You are far from being gracious, your Majesty," Bulma stated. "If I don't know any better, you're just a…"

"And how have you coped with each other? Intimately?" Robert quizzed, appearing to have no shame for asking it. It was his job to not be embarrassed with personal questions. He was supposed to be a people person and he was.

"The sex is fantastic," Bulma sighed with delight and Vegeta – as Robert noticed – smirked. "However, I've had better."

The smirk was wiped straight off of Vegeta's face.

Now Robert seemed to understand the situation better. Not only did Bulma's ego depend on Vegeta, his pride and stubbornness also seemed to rely on Bulma. Not good.

You would think that it would be the therapist's job to fix things between a couple going through a dire situation.

You're wrong.

It was the duty of the couple to do it themselves, of course, with a little help from the therapist.

"Well, your expectations are clearly lacking – considering you've only humped one other person," Vegeta, trying to heal his damaged ego, answered – though one could tell there was hurt in his voice.

"Only YOU could say that. And second of all, it's supposed to be a joke!"

Robert prayed that he wouldn't get so many headaches throughout the sessions. But deep down, he had a feeling that he shouldn't count his chickens before they hatched. He was even starting to TINY bit wonder why this couple would be the most difficult to advise to.

**:3 :3 :3**

**Again, let me remind you, that this is not mumbo jumbo schist that I managed to write out of pure stupidity. **

**And FYI, I've learned that there were a few goals for the therapist to achieve with the patients. Fixing their problems for them is not one of them. LOL!**

**Please – tell me what you think of this chapter! I'd love to know what you think!**


	3. To Infinity And Beyond

**You guys are so going to like this chapter (if you don't love it, LOL). Basically, it's going to go in flashbacks. And let's face it – we should all be looking forward to those. XD**

**There's No Such Thing As Couple's Counselling**

**Chapter 3: To Infinity And Beyond**

Vegeta was pretty much a five year old once more and needless to say, a tumour would be THIS close to be implanted in Bulma's brain; she wouldn't even be surprised if she got freaking brain cancer. Then again… what woman – in her right mind – would even bother to put up with this King of the Assholes?

So what if he acted like an asshole? There were far more troubling issues that had to be dealt with. For instance – Vegeta was just the type of person to judge her on her lifestyle. He had done so over ten years and not surprisingly; Bulma was THAT close to take an AK 47 and shoot him in the face.

_Take that, society!_

"Mrs. Briefs?" Robert asked, his tone of voice somewhat annoyed; he had called her name for the past five minutes and she had refused to respond. Honestly, Robert couldn't help but feel a little bit uncomfortable, seeing that Bulma had stared with such hatred into her husband's eyes for the remainder of that time.

"Are you surprised? You shouldn't be – the woman's been deaf for years," Vegeta snorted.

Bulma, meanwhile, pursed her lips – trying her hardest NOT to give her husband the reaction he wanted. Did she forget to tell you that he was five years old again?

"Give or take, how does your marriage normally work?" Robert was starting to get a pretty clear idea what the problem was, but because he was an awesome person, he was going to let the married couple figure it out for themselves.

"Is this a trick question?" Bulma raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Paranoid much?"

"Well, to answer your question, this marriage hasn't been exactly normal."

Robert appeared to be intrigued – and seemed to be more amused about the current situation more than ever. "So what made the two of you want to get married?"

Annoying best friends, bitchy parents and hormones.

**Flashback**

_Bulma Briefs was twenty-four years old; it was at the point of her life, according to her mother (who she had a feeling was misogynistic), where she had to look for a husband. _

_She could take her mother's criticisms about trying to be a better cook. She could take her mother's insults on doing the laundry right. But the one thing she could not take was how Bulma was going to remain single for the rest of her life, if she did not pick her lazy butt off the floor._

_Maybe it was because she didn't approve of Bulma's lifestyle as a scientist – which seemed to support the theory of Bunny Briefs of being a sexist. _

"_Now where is Mr. Vegeta?" Bunny's shrill voice nearly damaged Bulma's eardrums. _

_Bulma snorted, rolling her azure eyes in what appeared to be a sarcastic notion. "Oh you know – with his harem of whores on Planet Vegeta."_

_It would take an idiot to actually believe it. _

"_Honey," Bunny sat next to her only child on the couch; Bulma couldn't help but cringe – knowing this was the time where Bunny would 'comfort' her daughter. "You know that Vegeta loves you and you know you love him."_

_This somehow reminded Bulma of the nature documentary she watched on BBC once. _

_Bulma, really, did not want her mom to give her advice on her love life. Even though she did cry her heart out about Vegeta sometimes, seeing that Bulma – deep, deep down – wanted commitment and somehow Vegeta couldn't be roped into that, Bulma wanted to be left alone. _

"_I think he likes the single life more, Mother," Bulma deadpanned._

_Bunny giggled. "Nonsense, sweetie. Every time I've seen him over here, I can just tell that he's infatuated with you."_

_It was at this point in life when Bulma was just like her sixteen year old self; sex-crazed and in dire need of a boyfriend. It was a miracle from the ages of seventeen to twenty one; she was perfectly okay with being single. _

_Bulma knew that she knew Vegeta more than her mother did; she, herself, went to high school with him. They were not exactly the best of friends, but neither was they enemies. _

"_If that was true, he'd ask me to marry him."_

_In retrospect, Bulma should have known sooner or later that her mom would retort an encouraging response._

_Bulma had always wondered if Bunny ate rainbows for breakfast. _

"_Well, he'd make a wonderful son-in-law," Bunny nodded quickly. Her eyes widened as another thought popped into her head. "And think of all the babies you can have together!"_

_Needless to say, Bulma drowned out her mother's words at that point. What she wouldn't give to be in Vegeta's arms right now…_

**End Flashback**

"If only my mom could see how much of an asshole you really are," Bulma feigned sadness, and she knew she couldn't expect Vegeta to fall for her attempt to gain some empathy. Heck, she threw a good sigh in for good measure and yet Vegeta merely stared at her like she was insane.

"So your mother wanted you to get married?" Robert gazed into Bulma's eyes, as he flipped the next page of his notebook.

"More like 'pushed'," Bulma replied –trying to not take out her annoyance on the poor therapist who decided to take them in. "She couldn't stand to see me 'single' anymore, so she wanted me to get married."

"Then you have proceeded with the ceremony to please your family?" Robert's eyes flickered from Vegeta's uninterested gaze to Bulma's.

"I thought when this jackass over here proposed to me, I figured I may as well."

Robert decided to take note of this as well; there were some people in this world who naturally wanted to please others. And then there were some who just didn't give a damn about what others thought. Robert did not want to judge this couple more than he already had, but he couldn't help but wonder what they had in common anyway, since they bickered with each other for a long period of time. Although it was surprising to say the least that Mrs. Briefs' mother had encouraged the two to get married. Was this what it was like on a regular basis in their household?

**:3 :3 :3**

**And another chapter done! Whew! Although, I don't know when I'll update next. Probably not for a couple of weeks. (shrugs) But still – I appreciate you guys reading and reviewing. You guys are fantastic! XD**

**Please leave a review – I'd love to know what you think!**


	4. What Makes You So Special

**I would like to express my thanks to you guys; even though only three of you have reviewed. XD**

**There's No Such Thing As Couple's Counselling**

**Chapter 4: What Makes You So Special**

Honestly, Bulma thought Christmas came early when her therapist told her that he'd see her the next day. She was happy, to say the least, that she didn't have to spend anymore time in that room. Well, there was nothing wrong with the therapist – don't get her wrong: Robert seemed like a cool dude. But the other person that she had to spend time with in said room made her want to _**scream**_. And obviously, not in a good way.

In total, they only spent ten or fifteen minutes, but during that time, Robert had nothing useful to say to either of them. Vegeta was the one that bitched about that and not Bulma. Oh no, she would not be the one to cuss the therapist behind his back. Vegeta was JUST the type to have no manners; she shouldn't be coloured surprise.

When they got back home, Bulma did not know what to say to the jackass she decided to marry. She already had an impending headache coming, so she knew she should save herself the stress and the energy of picking a fight with her darling husband.

"Woman, you're not dying." Bulma glanced toward Vegeta, who stood behind her, with his arms crossed and a cold, calculating expression written all over his face.

The kitchen was one of the few places where Bulma could actually get some peace and quiet. Until Vegeta decided to torture her some more, and really, what else was new?

"I know that," Bulma snapped back, as she cradled her poor head in her hands, while she tried to ignore the man that was less than two feet away from her.

"You better rest up, woman; or else the therapist may have every reason to think you've gone insane," Vegeta snorted, before deciding to leave Bulma in the kitchen. Out of all the people that he 'tolerated', Bulma just had to be the one that he was attracted to.

What was it about her that was so appealing? It certainly wasn't her 'looks' for the most part, though that was a bonus; her cerulean hair, her blue eyes – that was a rarity among this part of the world. But who was to say that was attractive? Vegeta would never admit it aloud, but if Bulma asked him if he would still 'love' her if she changed her looks, Vegeta would not approve of her choice. Because let's face it – if she wore too much make-up, she looked ugly. But if she didn't… she was decent.

Or was it her sassiness that caught his attention? Out of all the people in the world, Vegeta had never met anyone like Bulma; she was the only one who was willing to stand up to him – even she was the only one that had offered an intellectual challenge.

After what: spending ten years with her, and having intimate relations for three, Vegeta still didn't know why he bothered tolerating her presence.

Because he couldn't picture her being with anyone else and he couldn't picture himself being with anyone else.

**:3 :3 :3**

Bulma knew that he cared about her; for three years, Vegeta hid his emotions, but not as well as he thought he did. They knew each other since high school, for crying out loud. He had to be an idiot if he thought no one was close enough to know him for who he was.

Bulma sighed, as she swallowed an ibuprofen with some water. In the case of Vegeta, one couldn't really expect much other than headaches and bad moods. Bulma was so used to this for the past ten years; they knew each other that long but didn't start _liking _each other until three years ago.

What was it about him that made him so special? The fact that he was good looking, as much as Bulma wanted to admit it, had been a bonus. But since he was the only person that had the balls to start a fight with her could be one of those signs. Surely there was more to Vegeta than that…

And at one point, as she could remember quite well, Vegeta wasn't as harsh as he always had been. This happened a year ago…

**One Year Ago**

_Bulma wasn't sure what to call them; if they were lovers, fuck buddies or boyfriend and girlfriend. The former sounded the most reasonable, the latter sounding the least realistic. Bulma was pretty sure that Vegeta would not like being called a 'boyfriend'. Considering that he grew up in a household where emotions were considered weak…_

_Bulma went out to the foyer of her house, where she could gaze at the stars; this was the closest thing to peace and quiet she could get, as she was usually surrounded by noise and mayhem._

"_Has it ever occurred to you that you're not the only one out here?" _

_Bulma blinked, as she finally took notice of Vegeta, who sat down on one of the veranda chairs. "Has it ever occurred to you that this is the only time of the day when I get some actual relaxation time?" Bulma didn't fail to notice her tone of voice wasn't as sassy as she could have made it out to be. And neither was Vegeta's. _

"_Not my fault you choose to stress yourself with frivolous things."_

"_It's not a choice. It's just something that comes along with work." If Bulma didn't know any better, Vegeta actually cared; but it wasn't like Bulma could just say that to his face. Then any sort of development with their romance (putting it blandly) would be put on hold. And let's face it, Bulma didn't want that to happen. _

"_Then why do you do it?"_

_Bulma rolled her eyes, knowing she shouldn't be surprised by his obliviousness. "Because some people have to work for a living, Vegeta. And this is what I do best."_

_She was, however, surprised by his next answer. "And you care nothing about your health?" _

_For ten straight years, Vegeta always had something rude to say to her. But for two years since they started their little fling, Vegeta was slowly (really slowly) starting to melt away his cold façade. But that didn't mean he didn't throw a rude comment at her – he still did that. If he actually turned into a nice guy, Bulma wouldn't have anything to do with him. She liked the fights she had with Vegeta; they excited her. _

"_Do I look like I'm ill?" Bulma inquired. _

_Much to her astonishment, he walked straight up to her and observed her. But what astonished Bulma the most was the look in his eyes; he was concerned. "Don't let yourself fall ill." It may have come out as a harsh order, but Bulma knew the meaning behind it. She just had a feeling he would be worried sick about her. "Especially over stupid things."_

_Bulma couldn't hide the smile on her face, and in her eyes for that matter. She kissed Vegeta on the cheek, before she replied, "Thank you."_

_Needless to say, Vegeta started to care for her more than he would care to admit it; and he would show it in subtle things. Though Bulma didn't know it until later on…_

**End Flashback**

Bulma knew that Vegeta loved her; in moments like those, where physical intimacy was cherished, she liked opening up to him. And it took a lot for Vegeta to gradually open up to her too. In moments like those, where in a world technology was the norm, talking face to face was a novelty.

But sometimes, Vegeta's emotions landed him in several situations where Bulma almost regretted marrying him.

**:3 :3 :3**

**Leave it to me to leave it there, right? **

**Just a little short break from Robert – don't worry, he'll come back soon to make some progress with our favourite couple! XD**

**Please leave a review my darlings, I'd love to know what you think!**


	5. Another Problem To Consider

**I hope you guys are having an awesome summer! ^_^ And I also hope you guys like this chapter; it's in Vegeta's POV! :D**

**There's No Such Thing As Couple's Counselling**

**Chapter 5: Another Problem to Consider**

For most of his life, emotions weren't something that he ever planned to have. He had grown up in a family where love and adoration made you weak-hearted and basically stupid; his mother had learned that the hard way, as well as Vegeta himself and his younger brother Tarble. So what if he came from an abusive home? Vegeta came out of it alive and strong; it didn't matter if he was socially backward or extremely angry because none of those things mattered.

But according to Queen Bulma, this was a problem to consider. Vegeta, who basically knew more about himself than his so called wife ever did, had begged to differ. She always liked to bitch and moan about this – and really, Vegeta didn't want her to get herself involved in his own matters. She always said she wanted to help him, but Vegeta didn't feel that way at all.

And this so called 'counselling for couples' was supposed to help sort out their issues, since they 'fight' all the time. What a load of bullshit. It's amazing how stupid Bulma could really be; as she didn't even bother talking to Vegeta about this – instead, using blackmail to get what she wanted. She thought she was smart…

Vegeta knew the statistics; he was twenty-five years old, he knew Bulma for ten years, wasn't until three years ago did they start sleeping around, etc. And two or so months ago, did they get married. Again, that was on Bulma's behalf…

**Flashback: 6 months ago**

_He was supposed to be relaxing that day; and that even meant he wouldn't start fighting with the wench again. Even though it was his main source of entertainment these days, it sometimes gave him a headache. You would understand if you could hear how loud she'd shriek… _

_Watching TV was the only thing that Vegeta was able to do; these days, there was all kinds of shit on TV that you had to watch because it was remotely amusing. And so, there he was Monday morning, 7 AM, lying on the living room couch with two buckets of popcorn and one bottle of Pepsi. Now mind you, Vegeta was never one to cook – he always seemed to assume that it was the woman's job of the household. Sexist as he was sometimes, Bulma loved him to death anyway. _

_Unfortunately, Bulma just had to ruin everything. It was annoying. Firstly, she was dressed in her usual nightgown that was see-through (what was she trying to do? Seduce him?). Enough said about that. Secondly, she was blocking the TV. Not cool. Thirdly, she was not exactly the most beautiful woman in the world to wake up to – although that was a lie and Vegeta would never admit it out loud. _

"_Hey Vegeta," Bulma greeted with a sweet and innocent tone of voice, as she batted her eyelashes and pursed her lips in a straight line. Try as she might, but she could not seduce him that early in the morning. Vegeta was not even in the mood anyway. _

"_What do you want?" If it was up to him, he'd lock himself away where the woman couldn't even find him. But funny how life worked._

"_I was thinking… would you ever want to get married?" Considering that she was almost never calm and composed when she talked to him, Vegeta knew that she was serious. _

"_What would be the point?" Vegeta was not stupid; he knew how much Bulma was desperate for commitment. But didn't she understand that he would not leave her, he would never hit her or abuse her in some way. "You already roped me into living with you; what more do you want?"_

"_I was just asking," Bulma mumbled, her eyes looking somewhere else. At that point, Vegeta knew he wasn't staring at Bulma; he was looking at somebody else. It wasn't – it just wasn't – in her to cry. She was strong and independent, even though she couldn't hold on her own in an actual fight, she was braver than anyone else Vegeta 'knew'. _

_Even though Vegeta himself was strong, why was he feeling guilt?_

**End Flashback**

Sometimes Vegeta tended to think that he never really liked Bulma. There were a lot of things that he hated about her, but there were some things he tolerated. Bulma always happened to mention the fact he could never leave her because she was the best he ever had. She was also cocky and over-confident in her abilities. But she reminded him of himself… Not that it was the greatest comparison.

"Vegeta?" Bulma's soft voice invaded his eardrums, forcing him to look at the one person that he tolerated before anyone else. "Are you going to come to bed?" She rubbed her eyelids, as though she was trying to force herself to stay awake.

It was one thing to allow himself to fall for her, but it was completely another thing that she was trying to order him around.

"You know I can't sleep," Vegeta retorted, crossing his arms, still clad in the t-shirt and jeans he wore from the day. His ego would increase, knowing that Bulma liked what she saw; after all, she never liked anyone else apart from him. Although it took a long, long time for him to see that.

"Is it… because of the nightmares?" Bulma started to massage her husband's shoulders, doing everything in her power to make him calm down. However, Vegeta didn't feel any less tense than before. As much as he liked the feel of her small hands on his body…

"The nightmares are not my concern," Vegeta said tiredly; he was in no mood to start arguing with her – he did plenty of that in the 'therapist's' office.

"But they should be, Vegeta," he could feel her lips kiss the back of his neck, as she tried to reassure him. He didn't know what to make of it, thus he said nothing. "I'm worried about you and I can't help you if… you don't tell me what's going on."

"I'm sick and tired of you wanting to interfere with my business. Just leave me alone," Vegeta snarled, ripping himself away from his wife's embrace, before he headed off outside; who knew where he was going. He ignored the cries of Bulma and he continued to walk down that same path. It was not the first time he tried to leave.

Before he left the property, he could still hear Bulma and the whispered reply she left behind. "Please don't go back on that path, Vegeta. I still love you."

**:3 :3 :3**

**Another conflict arises, people. It's something more serious too – so the light hearted fun you've seen before is becoming serious. This is serious, people! :P**

**But I actually hope you liked this chapter; please leave a review my darlings! I'd love to know what you think!**


	6. Everybody Is Cracked

**Okay, it's time for Robert's return! ^_^ I hope you guys like it! **

**There's No Such Thing As Couple's Counselling**

**Chapter 6: Everybody Is Cracked**

Robert could pretty much tell first hand that the sexual tension was getting out of hand. Unlike Dr. Phil, out of all people to take advice from, Robert would actually make an effort to find out what the problem was. The moment when Bulma and Vegeta walked through his office door, Robert could feel himself shiver; it was like the devil just walked in…

Observation number one: Bulma did not look like she had put much effort into her appearance; her hair was in a low ponytail, she wore a simple white t-shirt and jeans and no make-up was applied gracefully to her facial features. Not to mention that she had an extremely upset look on her face.

Observation number two: Vegeta appeared to be just as pissed as Bulma, just like he did usually when they came for their sessions. But Robert could really tell from the look in his eyes that this time, shit was real.

If this was a reality show, and Robert was not a therapist, he would actually find it to be really amusing. But it wasn't in his job description to be making fun of his clients. Especially if they happened to be really rich.

Now, this was only the first session (still) and Robert had no reason to rush things.

"What are you staring at?" Vegeta growled, sounding a little less tolerant this morning. The last thing he wanted to do this morning was go to another stupid counselling session where he'd be berated by the therapist, who'd tell him shit that he didn't want to know. But what he couldn't handle the most was the disturbing stares that Robert – as his wife called him – threw his way. What was so appealing about Vegeta that he had to fucking look at him?

"Give it a rest, Vegeta; he's trying to do his job," Bulma said, intervening. If it was up to her right now, she'd smoke; which was not something she did on a regular basis anymore – since her asshole husband told her it was stinky.

"Do I need to ask what the hell happened between you guys last night?" Robert asked, his tone of voice laced with curiosity.

"Vegeta left me and I had no idea where he was going. I tried to stop him, but apparently, he didn't want to listen to me."

"Who, in their right mind, would listen to someone like you?"

"Considering I've been bearing my heart and soul out to you last night, you listened to me. I listen to all of your problems."

"What the hell is that? What kind of logic is that?"

If Robert really wanted to, he could just hand this bickering couple over to Dr. Phil, just for shits and giggles. But as much as he loved to picture that happening, helping them would actually ensure that he would be coming home with a pay check. "If you are done with your tea party ladies, I believe that I have something to say to you."

It was pretty much amazing how both man and wife decided to stop their pointless bickering. Ironically, they were the only couple Robert had seen that would not need to be told twice; especially when the other couples Robert had seen they had not fought as often as they did.

"The first thing I should ask is; when you come across a problem, how do you solve it?"

"The woman solves it by smoking crack." Was this supposed to be a fucking joke?

"I so do not get on drugs!" Bulma squealed in protest, slapping her husband's shoulder as though it would stop him from saying any more rude things about her.

"And I do not solve problems," Vegeta continued, ignoring the wench who was yelling right in his eardrums; but it was pretty hard to not shove her petite body off of his… "Because this stupid bitch right next to me doesn't like my methods."

Shit was just about to hit the fan; the tension was pretty much ready to blow… And Robert, apparently, couldn't help but show a stupid lopsided grin on his lips – like he found this really entertaining. At least, that was what Bulma thought, as a plethora of angry emotions started to take over her body.

"How are they even methods? You just walk out of my house and you don't come back until God knows when!" Bulma cried out. She spent half of the night crying her heart out and she wasn't even surprised if she looked like crap right now.

"I hate to tell you this, but you have the emotional intelligence of a four year old," Robert's voice was raised higher, trying his hardest to get his point across.

"Yeah, Vegeta – stop acting like you're four," Bulma taunted.

"I hate to say this as well, but I was referring to both of you." Bulma's confident grin that had developed from years of practice vanished; it was like hearing first hand that she was not the prettiest woman in the world.

"Now from what I've gathered from the past few days is that not only do your differences bring you closer together, they also draw you guys apart. And from what I've understood from today is that you're not willing to compromise. That is one of the issues right there."

Bulma's hands flew up in defence, as she interrupted the therapist, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Unwilling to compromise? Are you kidding me, Robert? If you had to be married to this jackass over here for several months, you would not compromise with him. He doesn't agree on anything!"

Robert might as well be their personal referee. But really, he wasn't supposed to; it's not his job. He briefly wondered if either of them understood the concept of therapy.

"It's because your so called methods are retarded! They don't work for shit!"

"Nice language, Vegeta. Did you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"I'd rather kiss her with that mouth than kiss you with that mouth."

"And here we go again with the attitude; you know, I gave you a huge favour by marrying you."

Okay, Robert just had about enough. "Will you please _**calm the fuck down?!**_"

If Robert hadn't proved himself to be intimidating before, he sure did now; Vegeta and Bulma acquiesced to his request and merely stared directly in Robert's direction. And yes, they did look surprised… "I'm sorry about that," Robert coughed. "But the point is, based on my experience from knowing you so far, is that trust is also a major factor."

"I actually do trust Vegeta with my life," Bulma stated, and it was a sure sign she was going to add something else to that. "However, the person you should be talking to about trust is that guy," her finger pointed to her husband, who rolled his eyes in response.

"So you're saying you'd trust me with your life; when in actual fact, I could kill you in my sleep?" Vegeta's onyx gaze pierced through Bulma's eyes, and for once, she didn't have anything to say to this. There was a reason why Bulma had put up with Vegeta's crap over the years; the fact that he had a rough life and no one in real life would help him… It felt like she had been the only friend he had in high school. No one wanted to hang out with him, much less talk to him. Vegeta was pretty much Freddy Krueger stuck in a teenager's body.

"Don't be like that, Vegeta," Bulma croaked; she hated it when Vegeta had to say stuff like this to her. The last thing she actually wanted was Vegeta to go suicidal… and there had been one point in their high school lives when he thought his life didn't matter. It was that one moment of weakness that she had seen from him that he tried hiding from the world.

"I take it that you two have had… a rough history?"

"Vegeta would never hit me," Bulma shook her head, denying the rough accusation that Robert was throwing at them; yes, it was his job to ask questions like these. But could she really tell him of that one time when he nearly did hit her? Bulma honestly didn't know; she just had to convince herself that Vegeta loved her – he'd never hurt her. Emotionally maybe, but physically?

"The reason why I'm asking you this is because we need to familiarize ourselves."

"Familiarize ourselves to what?"

"If you want to resolve your issues, you're going to have to open up to me. But before that, it's pretty clear that neither of you had been comfortable enough to share yet."

Just to be clear, Bulma hadn't ever been to therapy in her life; she always had these preconceived ideas about the only reason why people go was because they needed help. Never before did Bulma think it'd be her going to therapy, much less a couple's session.

Okay, so she had a massive ego that prevented her from taking responsibility of certain things… but was it that bad enough for her to go to therapy?

**:3 :3 :3**

**And more issues are brought up within the chapter… I hope you liked Robert's hilarious outburst! XD Who knew he had it in him? I decided to make him a little sassier, now that he's more aware of what Bulma and Vegeta are really like. **

**Please leave a review – I'd love to know what you think!**


	7. I Don't Appreciate Smartasses

**This is easily one of my most favourite stories to write. No joke and no lie. ;)**

**I hope you guys like this chapter! ^_^**

**There's No Such Thing As Couple's Counselling**

**Chapter 7: I Don't Appreciate Smartasses**

"I think it's safe to assume that before we do anything else, individual sessions will take place instead." Bulma, who had been drifting away in her thoughts, thought she was off to heaven. Her heart soared and nothing but pure relief crossed her facial features. Thank. God. Couple sessions were the worst things to try to attempt, first of all. If anything, Bulma knew that individual sessions would most likely be more affective than the latter. And she wouldn't get a headache in the process… This was probably the only reason why Bulma gladly accepted it.

"Woo hoo!" Bulma clapped her hands together; as much as she wanted to fix her relationship with Vegeta, she knew first hand that she should just spill everything to the therapist in private. She just did not need Vegeta to judge her; like he had been doing for the past ten years.

"Hey, Mr. Therapist, if you're not stupid, blind or deaf, the woman's going insane over here." Leave it to Vegeta to ruin Bulma's good mood. Leave it to him to start opening his stupid mouth…

"Thanks a lot Vegeta for hurting my feelings. I think I'm going to cry," Bulma frowned, rolling her eyes in a sarcastic motion.

"The therapist was right about you; you are four years old."

"If you want my honest opinion, the couple sessions will not stop."

Okay, in Bulma's opinion, this was the worst news she had come to hear today. Actually, she wasn't as angry as she was disappointed. How could she even say one thing to Robert if Vegeta critiques her on her every move? Vegeta was definitely not going to get sex tonight. She didn't care if he was trying to seduce her first; it wasn't going to happen.

"They will merely be once a week, instead of three times a week. What's required is that both of you must attend these sessions."

"Hell no! This isn't what I've signed up for, you miserable, shit-faced cretin!" Vegeta was really colourful in terms of language usage. Bulma knew he didn't give a damn whether or not anyone else heard him from beyond these walls. But she did.

"Now who's acting four years old?" Bulma hissed, as she swatted her husband on the arm, like it was the correct method to quiet him down.

"We're not going to be starting today, if that's what you're assuming." Honestly, Robert shouldn't be recommending individual sessions at all at this point. But this was not your average, every day couple; in all honesty, Robert knew that this was the worst couple he had to deal with. Was the money that the Briefs were offering worth it? "But we will start tomorrow and I would like to talk to Vegeta first." Robert doubted that Vegeta's behaviour would change miraculously once he was alone; he knew the kind of guy he was, all too well actually, and he knew how to deal with someone like him now.

"Do you honestly think I'll come here willingly?" Vegeta sneered; so far, what's proven to be 'therapy' was proven to be nothing but a joke. He was pretty sure that the therapist himself wasn't taking his duties seriously.

"I have a tazer in my drawer that I'll be happy to introduce you to sometime." Can you say that his methods were unorthodox? Yes you could. Because there is nothing crazier than having a weapon, that could cause serious harm, in a desk drawer. Or maybe Robert was just being humourous – who knows what the real deal on that was.

At the time, Bulma was thinking; what kind of therapist did we get?

**:3 :3 :3**

Their session was done for the day. Thank. God.

Bulma leaned back on her car seat, trying to find some peace of mind. These days, relaxing was just impossible when you were married to a mad man. The last thing she needed to hear these days was his loud, obnoxious, booming voice interrupting her beauty sleep. And for what? Food.

She knew the kind of people Vegeta had been raised by. And apparently, they were the type of people to have their son believe that sexism is what runs the world. Girls cook and clean, guys go to work. It was common knowledge for Vegeta.

This had been one of the reasons why his parents had not been invited to the wedding. When his parents learned Vegeta was engaged to a girl, who not only was not taught in the ways of domestics, who makes her own living as an engineer; they were not that happy about it. Bulma knew they wanted Vegeta to have a wife that could cook and clean for him.

What kind of world was Bulma living in?

Then there was the fact that Vegeta was still not willing to go to the individual therapy sessions. Did he have any idea how much money her parents were paying for these sessions?

"Stop staring at me, woman."

"This is all your fault."

"What are you talking about?"

"You are the reason why I have to go to therapy. And guess what – you are going to that session whether you like it or not." Bulma hated making scenes, but there was no better way to get Vegeta's attention. So what if he was driving? He barely drives, because let's be honest, he never had the patience. But when he was so angry, this was what he would do from time to time. Bulma actually thought it was a miracle nobody died from his reckless behaviour.

"And you're the reason why my parents don't speak to me anymore," Vegeta replied, with just as much tenacity.

"I actually thought you'd be happy about that. I mean… you get to marry the woman you love. You shouldn't care what others think about you." The glare that she received from him almost made her want to re-word what she was trying to say. Almost. "When we got married, I got a letter from your parents," Bulma confessed; she knew for certain that Vegeta didn't know about this.

She was right about that. Vegeta glanced in her direction, although his facial expression didn't change much. "What did it say?"

Bulma pursed her lips, as she contemplated whether or not to paraphrase the letter. "It said… that if you wanted to screw your life up that bad by marrying me, they'll have no part in acknowledging me as their daughter-in-law." Truthfully, that wasn't what the entire letter said; even though it was just the main message, there had been more incredibly hurtful things.

"As you said, you shouldn't care what people think." That was the second sweetest thing that Bulma had heard from him. It made her heart pound a little bit by just thinking how sweet Vegeta was in his own way.

"But… it really hurts when you think about it. When you just want the approval -"

"I thought you were stronger than this, woman. Just shut up about it. I don't care. Neither should you."

Bulma had every intention to make Vegeta go to individual therapy; she believed it could be good for him. She honestly thought that he'd be able to confront his past… she thought that he might be able to let Robert help him. But as usual, Vegeta always thought it'd be best to keep things to himself. Contrary to how Bulma acted sometimes, she was worried about him a lot.

Stop light.

"Vegeta, why don't you just let me help you?" Bulma asked calmly, as her hand laid itself on Vegeta's shoulder. He shoved it off in no time, much to her annoyance.

"Because I don't need it." In other words, he didn't want it. Each and every time she asked him this, she got the same answer. And really, it hurt her so much – much more than a bullet could.

"It's okay to ask for help, Vegeta. You don't have to do everything by yourself."

She was absolutely sick of fighting with Vegeta. She was certain sometimes that she'd hurt him with the words she'd spew back at him in equal rage. And there was one point in time when she did say something that actually did hurt his feelings.

**:3 :3 :3**

**I just love how Robert got himself a tazer. Hehehe… XD**

**If you guys liked the chapter, please leave a review; I'd love to know what you think!**


	8. Hot Shit's Coming To Town

**More flashbacks! ^_^**

**And by the way, your reviews really made me smile, you guys! ;)**

**There's No Such Thing As Couple's Counselling**

**Chapter 8: Hot Shit's Coming To Town**

When they got back to the house, it was inevitable what was going to happen next. Angry sex. Passionate sex. The best kind of sex that Bulma ever had. As much as Bulma loved doing it with Vegeta, and she could pretty much tell that Vegeta loved doing it with her too, she really treasured emotional moments better. Maybe it had something to do with taming the bad boy that Bulma craved from day one; maybe it just had to do with the feelings she had for him.

Feelings. That was the reason why Bulma had chosen to stay with Vegeta. For the ten years they've known each other, they actually didn't fall in love until three years previous from today. But maybe they had been in love all that time. Even if they were, they would have been too freaking stubborn to admit anything.

But now that Bulma thought about it, maybe Vegeta did care for her throughout those ten, long years. There was one particular memory that stood out from all the others.

**Flashback: Ten Years Ago**

_Spring break couldn't come quickly enough for Bulma Briefs; she was actually all for vacations and relaxing time – whereas being excited for school couldn't compete with it. After all, it wasn't like she'd be spending her time with the one guy she argued with on a daily basis, right? Now that she thought about it, she was glad that this was the only time she didn't have to put up with any arrogant assholes. _

_It would be just her, Chi-Chi and her boyfriend Goku at the beach; wasting their time away in the sun and the refreshing water… _

_Bulma sighed in delight. Who knew just sunbathing would bring her that much peace? For someone who was almost fifteen, she sure had the mind of an adult, along with certain stress clouding her brain. _

_She sure took delight into wearing a pink and white floral bikini, which pretty much did everything to make sure she looked like a goddess (and the fact she was well endowed made things better). After getting a lot of stares from some cute boys, her confidence sky-rocketed; her ego was at an all-time high._

_However, there just happened to be one guy who was just begging to get his butt kicked. His name? Bulma really didn't give a damn about that; he just happened to be blonde, muscular and creepy. In other words, he was not the type of guy Bulma really wanted to go out with. _

"_Shouldn't you go and say something to him?" Chi-Chi whispered, as she didn't take her eye contact off of the guy; in fact, she looked like she was going to cringe in disgust. _

"_I don't need to. I've got 911 on speed dial." It was the perfect solution, in Bulma's case. Since she wasn't even legal (hello – she's fourteen turning on fifteen!) the police would be the people responsible to deal with perverts like that blonde guy. _

"_I don't think it'll stop a guy like him from coming over."_

"_Then I guess he'll just have to get used to disappointment." And just like that, the guy decided he wanted to try out his flirty jokes out on Bulma – of all people. _

"_Hey sweet cheeks, where've you been all my life?"_

"_Hiding under a rock," Bulma deadpanned; she didn't even bother taking off her sunglasses – which meant that she could just stare at something else whereas the creepy stranger didn't know shit. _

"_You know, if you're feeling a little hot, we can head back to my place."_

"_I don't know. Would two people fit in it?" Bulma heard these kinds of jokes before and she knew exactly how to respond to them. She wasn't playing hard to get – she was being honest. Too bad the idiot wasn't smart enough to figure that out._

"_You're so silly. Of course it will."_

"_I'll have you know that I have 911 on speed dial if you don't leave me alone." Bulma guessed this was the price to pay for being so gorgeous… Not to sound conceited or anything, but she was glad she looked the way she was; even if she happened to have some bad hair days._

"_If I were you, I'd do what she says." Bulma's heartbeat skyrocketed to an all time high as everything in her mind (every thought, every feeling) came to a grinding halt. No. No. No. No. NO! What was HE doing here? _

"_Whatever." And he left. Just like that. _

_Matters seemed to get worse as she heard his footsteps coming toward her. Bulma groaned, deciding to prepare for the worst; leave it to Vegeta to start another fight with her. She didn't need the stress, dammit! All she wanted to do was getting a tan and maybe have a little hop in the water. Obviously that was too much to ask. _

"_Kill me now," Bulma moaned, looking toward Chi-Chi with a hopeful look in her eyes. _

"_As much as that would solve all my problems, I don't want to cause a fuss."_

_Bulma turned around swiftly to face Vegeta head-on. She threw off her sunglasses, as she gave Vegeta – who was looking quite handsome in a simple pair of black swim trunks – the coldest glare in his life. "Screw off asshole." Three words were enough to wipe the arrogant smirk off of his face. _

"_You should be thanking me for saving your incompetent ass."_

"_I should, shouldn't I? Thank you for interfering in something that I had complete control of."_

"_There you go again, assuming that you know what you're doing. If it isn't too hard to understand, then you'd know what he was planning to do to you."_

_Bulma blinked, feeling speechless. What – was he acting like he cared about her? Or maybe he was just insulting her straight to her face. But her heart fluttered a bit. She felt a little bit flattered… but still: he didn't need to do that for her! She didn't need help: she could take care of herself!_

"_Well, he didn't do anything to me, don't worry about that." Was it just her or did she sound comforting? Bulma actually gave up on being civil to him a long time ago; he was the one who really started the fights – didn't he ever hear of the Golden Rule? Apparently he didn't want to treat other people with respect._

"_If that ever happens again…"_

"_It won't!"_

"_Good."_

"_Good."_

"_You can shut up now."_

"_You can leave now."_

_Even Chi-Chi at that time knew that Bulma and Vegeta were in love; but she knew better than to intervene. _

**End Flashback**

Bulma knew she tried to remain civilized toward him throughout the rest of the years to come. But most of the time she lost her self-control and fighting was all what she really did with Vegeta.

Had marrying Vegeta been a mistake? She didn't like to think so; she loved him a lot – she couldn't imagine living without him by her side. But sometimes it was so difficult to love him all the time.

Thing is, he never told her he loved her in return. Did she blame him for that? No. He had been taught how to love again; seeing that his family had never given him the affection that everyone deserved. And Bulma was proud to say that she was the only woman that Vegeta would ever love.

"Vegeta?" Bulma wanted to ask him something; he could tell that much.

He stopped touching her; he stopped kissing her. He stopped igniting the fire within her. He stopped making her feel so good… He stopped to listen. "What is it, woman?"

"Do you… regret getting married?" Her azure eyes were gazing straight into Vegeta's black ones with curiosity. She didn't appear to be sad about anything; just… guilty.

"Don't tell me you do."

"Don't you think we did it too fast? I think we just did it just to get it over with, you know? Not to mention how my mother's –"

Before Bulma could even get to the point, Vegeta's lips crashed against hers, preventing her from speaking. "Talk like that again and I'll make sure you will regret being with me."

Usually threats coming from someone like Vegeta would scar a person for life, but as Bulma heard them, she thought that he was doing his best to cheer her up. Problem is, Vegeta wasn't conscious of that at all. Nor would he ever admit that.

And when Vegeta held her, she couldn't help but give into him now. Now was a brilliant time to have make-up sex, right? Right. All the problems that she had right now were put on hold; she'd just worry about them the next day.

And she'd also make sure that Vegeta would go to his individual session whether he liked it or not.

**:3 :3 :3**

**The quality of this chapter came out as… meh. But whatever; who cares what I say, right? **

**Please leave a review – I'd love to know what you think!**


	9. Bromance In Progress

**Here we go guys; Vegeta's first session by himself! XD**

**There's No Such Thing As Couple's Counselling**

**Chapter 9: Bromance In Progress**

It was pretty obvious to Robert that Vegeta was definitely uncomfortable doing this session. It almost made Robert feel sorry for him. Almost. But did it guilt-trip him into cancelling this one for him? Nope. Not on Vegeta's life. Robert did sound kind of cruel, didn't he? By forcing Vegeta to get off of his royal throne and to make him talk about his problems like his life was at stake? In actual truth here, Robert was a little bit amused by this. But he shouldn't be.

If things ever do go wrong, Robert knew exactly where his tazer would be. But to be painfully honest, guys, he's never really used it before. So Vegeta might be his first victim – or rather, first tester today.

Robert was like, half joking about this; he knew he would get fired if he ever tried doing something so unprofessional. But it wasn't like his boss would be creeping in his office; so what did he have to lose? If he lost his job, he could always go out and find another. But in his mind, therapy couldn't get any better than this.

"If you have something to say, then say it." Robert was immediately reminded of Grumpy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. He didn't look like him (not that it was a flattering comparison), but he just acted like him. Honestly, Grumpy was his favourite Dwarf of them all. Needless to say, Robert was going to have fun with this; sure, he sounded like a terrorist… but he's harmless.

"That's not my job. It's yours," Robert shook his head with a 'meh' expression on his face. He was pleased to see Vegeta's reaction, which happened to be shock. And then it turned into anger. Obviously Vegeta was reserved and shy. But not in this office. Nope. It wasn't going to happen. Robert would use any means necessary to get him to co-operate.

"That's stupid." Robert had used that line, which was six words, on dozens of couples; and honestly, he had heard worse coming from them than Vegeta. But it wasn't like he'd tell HIM that.

"Name me five other things you find stupid." Robert thought that this was the best way to approach Vegeta. Come on, did you think he was going to do something obvious like – 'how do you feel about that?' okay, maybe he'll do it sometime in the future.

"You, counselling, the wench, worms and romance." Wow. This guy was obviously one of a kind – maybe he was one step away from being crazy. Robert was glad that he was the one to sit Vegeta down for a little chat. It was amazing that after a few days of observing, Robert had the balls to get things rolling.

"Now why would you say I'm stupid?"

"Your appearance offends all those around you. Your so called methods do nothing to help others as you claim. Your attitude is annoying." Well, Vegeta's obviously not lying about that. But Robert loved the fact that Vegeta took the time to think over every last detail.

"My attitude is annoying?" Somehow that didn't sit too well with Robert. "Have I ever said anything that offends you?"

"You're annoying because you seem to think I'll tell you things that are none of your goddamn business." Robert actually thought that was the longest time he talked…A new world record!

"I used to think that way too. Until the pain started. And then the urges come to talk to people. I stopped being paranoid after that." Convincing Vegeta to talk to him was going to be difficult. "No one's out to get you. I've learned that lesson a long time ago."

"Let's get one thing straight. I don't _feel _anything." Robert's bull crap radar just went off; Vegeta was obviously lying.

"So you don't feel anything for Bulma?"

There was a long pause after that. "That is none of your concern."

"That is where you're wrong." Vegeta's heated stare that was similar to a five year old on the edge of a tamper tantrum. "I've taken you two into my office and everything that happens from hence forth is my concern. I wouldn't be doing my job if you would not talk to me for three months, for instance."

"I don't have to talk to you."

"You will talk to me, whether if you like it or not." Okay so Robert didn't mean to sound so forceful. But he did need to get his point across. The way he saw it, treating Vegeta the way he was being treated had to do the trick.

"You really want to know how I feel about Bulma?" Suddenly Robert had a bad feeling about what he was going to say next. "She's stupid, she's ugly, she's annoying and she's clingy." Again, Robert's bull crap radar just went off in his head. Did Vegeta take Robert for a fool or something? What part of 'professional therapist who can help you' did he not understand?

"I'm sure you told her that on many occasions." Robert wrote the words 'Stupid, ugly, annoying and clingy' on a piece of paper; he circled each one and wrote the title on top of the page: What Vegeta Thinks About Bulma. "Any other insults I should know about?"

"Lazy, self-obsessed, selfish and worthless." You'd think that he'd get creative with words, but Robert guessed creative writing wasn't Vegeta's favourite pastime.

"I bet she loves guys who treat her like crap, like what you do. Otherwise, how else would she put up with you?"

"She's used to it."

"I'm guessing that you know her pretty well to say that, don't you?"

"What are you getting at?" Vegeta growled, intensively, with a haughty expression written all over his facial contours. He wasn't happy at all (not that he even showed it) that Robert was saying things that implied something. Basically, Robert was implying that Vegeta was just like Yamcha. Why was he even thinking about that weakling for? Why was he even comparing himself to him? They were never alike.

"I'm not getting at anything. Well, I guess this is it for today then." Robert knew they only spent ten minutes here. Tops. But he knew he would have to take things slowly. That is, if he could get all the information he needed in order to rectify this problem.

Yet with a couple like Bulma and Vegeta… could their situation get any better?

**:3 :3 :3**

There was nothing worse than finding out you mean nothing to your significant other. Bulma used to feel that way for years, and then she learned to repress it. And then those feelings came up again. Lately, since therapy started, Bulma had an inkling that Vegeta just didn't care about her. It was like playing tug of war with herself. One minute she won, thinking that Vegeta's actions spoke louder than words. Then the other minute, she felt like she wasn't good enough for him.

This was all just too much for her to handle sometimes. And when Bulma did feel that way, watching Disney movies in her old bedroom (not the one she shared now with Vegeta) from her teenage years did the trick. Not only watching classic films like the Lion King made her feel better, but drinking a litre of 7-Up and eating a huge carton of cookies and cream ice cream hit the spot.

She could hear Vegeta's voice in her head. She was a pig and she'd get fat in no time.

Why did he have to be that way? THE JERK!

And why did Bulma have to feel like she was in high school again?

**:3 :3 :3**

**While Robert and Vegeta are 'bonding', Bulma's having an off day. Poor girl. :(**

**Mind leaving a review? I'd love to know what you think!**


	10. Feminine Intuition Is Never Wrong

**Time for Bulma's interrogation! XD**

**There's No Such Thing As Couple's Counselling**

**Chapter 10: Feminine Intuition Is Never Wrong**

Feminine intuition is never wrong. These wise words came from Bulma's mom, who was a lot smarter than you'd think she was, who'd put in her two cents whenever Bulma had the blues. Bunny was never one to tell her daughter what to do, unless she was teasing her, so she'd always tell her to follow her female voice inside her head.

When she was first torn between allowing herself to love Vegeta, she did listen to her heart. Although her heart did have the complete opposite personality than Bulma; it was never bossy, it was never stupid and it didn't have a biased opinion on anything.

So when Bulma showed up to her appointment in the afternoon, her female intuition kept telling her that therapy was the worst mistake she ever did. And that was saying something. Bulma genuinely believed that her marriage needed some help, but she was just as torn about listening to her gut.

"You look tired," Robert said, the moment she sat down in one of his office chairs. She gave him a glare, like what he just said had been a direct insult. Bulma was actually quite exhausted from last night. She couldn't get any sleep and when she never got any sleep, she was in the most horrible mood ever. Too bad Robert didn't know that.

He could have said she looked beautiful as always, but that would have been a little desirable flirting going on. It's always nice to feel desirable, but sometimes, Vegeta didn't make her feel that way at all. It definitely injured her pride and it was something that had to change.

"Go out and say it; I look like crap," Bulma sighed, crossing her arms in the process. Her hair was a mess; there were dark circles underneath her eyes and no amount of concealer can hide it; her clothes were wrinkled; how could life possibly get any worse?

"I didn't say you look like crap," Robert said airily, before he grabbed a pen and his notebook from his desk.

"Well Vegeta did," Bulma admitted, the grimace never once disappearing from her lips. "And he never lies about stuff like that." Robert nodded, but other than that, no other reaction.

"He is an honest one, isn't he?" Robert sipped his cup of coffee, silently enjoying the taste. This didn't go unnoticed by Bulma, who wished she could have had some before she left.

"Hey. You mind giving me some of that?" And Bulma was surprised to say the least that Robert immediately turned, facing his body toward the wall, shielding his precious beverage.

"There's no more coffee," Robert shrugged his shoulders and as a result, Bulma rolled her eyes and slumped in her chair. Great. She thought she and Robert were on such great terms; she thought that they were pals. But Robert didn't like to share his things.

"Fine. Be like that." Punk-ass bitch who can't even share his coffee. Hmph. Blame Bulma for being in the worst mood in human history.

"You're just like Vegeta."

"We are nothing alike. Believe me." But from the sceptical stare that Robert was burning off right now, he didn't give a shit at all. It was like he knew better than Bulma; or maybe he thought he knew her way better than she knew herself.

"Look, Bulma. I really have to be honest with you. From the past few days, I've noticed one thing. Both of you have pride. It can be a good thing, but it is also bad."

"So you're saying that we'd rather listen to our own egos?" Bulma knew she was ego-centric and narcissist sometimes; but she didn't act like a royal pain in the butt like Vegeta did.

"You guys pick at each other like two dogs fighting over a chew toy," Robert said, and then he took another sip of his beloved coffee. "As much as I find your fights hilarious and entertaining, they can't go on much longer."

"What if it's the only way we communicate? Vegeta doesn't know anything about treating a woman right." Again, Robert did not look amused or impressed by Bulma's logic.

"But you love him; and you can't change him."

Even though Robert kind of sounded like he knew better than she did, at least he wasn't stupid. Bulma could have gotten a really clueless therapist who would have pissed his pants if he got to have someone like her as a client. Heck, she could have gotten a therapist who'd flirt with her. But Bulma learned to be thankful for what she got.

"I don't think I can."

"Surely you know how much he loves you."

"Are you kidding me?" Bulma snorted. "Here's something: Vegeta beats every guy up that even talks to me. I'm SO sure that's how he proclaims his love." Robert looked very interested all of a sudden; after all, his eyes were sparkling with curiosity.

"Really? Mind sharing a story?"

**One Year Ago**

_In retrospect, maybe dinner out in the city wasn't such a good idea. But how was Bulma supposed to know what would happen?_

_She thought it was a good idea to bring her 'boyfriend' to Pizza Hut; after all, Bulma couldn't exactly cook and since her parents were gone for two weeks, there was no point eating at home. Luckily, Vegeta understood this logic perfectly well – even though she had to bitch at him for twenty minutes. _

_You should have seen the look on Vegeta's face when she appeared before him in a black lace halter top and leggings. With her hair up in a high ponytail and minimal makeup, she thought she looked beautiful. Whereas Vegeta couldn't stop staring at her for two minutes and that really pleased Bulma; and he thought that she always looked hideous – that's bull crap. _

"_Ready?" Bulma just had to finish putting in her earrings and then she was all set. She could feel her heart pound against her chest every second; she was so excited for their 'date'. Bulma had no problem with their flings for the past two years, but lately, she was wondering if she deserved more. But she knew the answer to that in to time. Of course Bulma deserved more; she deserved a real relationship. Yet if it turned out to be like her situation with Yamcha's, then Bulma would be happy to stay a single woman for a little more time. _

"_Why you are making such an effort to overdress, I do not have a clue," Vegeta snorted, as he crossed his arms. Bulma thought he was just as eye-ogling; dressed in dark jeans and a black t-shirt, she couldn't help but think that he looked like he was from a motorcycle gang. The only thing missing was a tattoo…maybe she could talk him into getting one? Mind you, she wasn't really serious. _

"_I'm not overdressed. I'm being considerate. Do you want me to look like a pig?" She knew the response she was going to get; she would always look hideous no matter what she did to beautify herself in the mornings. _

"_Hmph." She always found it positively adorable whenever Vegeta sulked. _

_And she couldn't stop the smile on her face, realizing that she had won this little 'argument'. But she should really stop being petty about it. _

_**:3 :3 :3**_

_Bulma really, really loved Pizza Hut – even from when she was a kid. She liked the pizza, of course, but the thing she liked most about it was the crust stuffed with cheese. Now that was good… but not only did she enjoy pizza, she liked the wings; she always used to order them spicy because she was the only one in her family that could handle them. _

"_I am so hungry, I don't even know what to eat first," Bulma smiled in ecstasy, glancing at her plate and eyeing all of the different foods she had thought to claim before anyone else did. Vegeta stared blankly at her, but she ignored his disturbed gaze._

"_What are you staring at?" Bulma snapped; if he had a problem, he should be able to say it without any hesitation at all. _

"_You say you're not a pig, Woman. But you think you can eat all that?" Was Vegeta teasing her? Okay, he was smirking at her… that was definitely proof that he was joking around. But if Bulma ever called him out on it, he'd deny everything. Therefore it was much easier to be unaware of his behaviour. _

"_Stop being a douche bag. It's not like I'm gonna get fat." Besides – look how much Vegeta had on his plate; he had twice as much food on it and he had the gall to call her a pig? She couldn't believe she liked this guy so much. _

_**:3 :3 :3**_

_That's it. Bulma should just come on her own time to eat out. And she was never going to bring Vegeta with her again. Here's the rundown of what happened. _

_At 12:05, the waiter, ever so polite and ever so handsome, came by to order their drinks. The waiter made some flirtatious pick up line toward Bulma and ever so flattered, she laughed. Needless to say, Vegeta was not impressed. In fact, he was yelling some threat about not smiling like that toward her again or else he'd chop off his male genitalia and throw it in a fire. Bulma had been so embarrassed that she had to apologize for him. Needless to say, Bulma was not impressed with Vegeta's attitude. _

_At 12:30, Bulma happened to run into one of her old friends. Vegeta looked like he was going to explode with fury, but Bulma didn't pay any attention to him – which was a big mistake, as it turned out. They hugged and for some reason, it really ticked Vegeta off; but why should it make him angry? It's not like Bulma and Vegeta were actually a couple. And once again, Vegeta interfered… but unlike last time, he had the nerve to punch Bulma's friend in the face: hard. _

_At 12:35, Bulma and Vegeta were kicked out of Pizza Hut, due to the scolding of the manager who actually threatened to make a court case out of this. _

_On the way home, Bulma never talked to Vegeta – she was that angry at him. She was actually coming close to tears, but she didn't cry. Nuh-uh: she was a strong girl!_

_Vegeta didn't say anything either and that didn't make things any better._

"_What are we, Vegeta?" She might as well get the conversation started. "Do I mean anything to you at all? Or am I just another fling?" This was the complication with 'friends with benefits' business. There were always feelings involved. _

"_You belong to me." And that was all he said. And the way he said it was like he never did anything wrong. He said this like it was a fact._

"_What, so that means we're dating now, or something?"_

**End Flashback**

"Unfortunately, he never said anything more than that," Bulma growled. "I mean, if we're not even dating or anything, then why did he have to punch his face? It's not like we made a huge commitment at the time." Bulma had to admit that it felt good bearing her soul to Robert. At least part of her anger was gone, since talking about her problems somewhat made things better for her.

"Vegeta's a hard guy to understand, I bet." At first it didn't even look like he was listening, but Bulma supposed he surprised everyone that way.

"You think?"

"And next thing you know, he'll probably tell you that he loves you."

"Did you even listen to me?"

**:3 :3 :3**

**I'm sorry that I haven't updated since weeks ago… I had a little bit of author's block on this chapter! But I hope you guys liked it! ;)**


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